thanksgiving: the long lost art of gratitude

My dear friends up north are celebrating one of the most meaningful holidays in the U.S. repertoire: Thanksgiving Day. I love this holiday, but my feelings toward it have nothing to do with its history, which is somewhat unusual. You see, holidays are, if anything, historical in nature: some one did something memorable some day, something that was cause for celebration, and in their remembrance, people carried on observing the anniversaries of these momentous occasions.

However, I appreciate this date from a much more direct perspective, and that is the act of expressing gratitude. I’ve been observing more and more how the word “thanks” seems to be fading from our collective vocabulary. In a world where we get progressively more enamored with youth and being cool and carefree, the value of hard work that bares fruits in due course has increasingly lost status, to the point of becoming an outdated concept. Now, more often than not, the operating principles are shirking responsibility, cutting corners, finding the easy way out, etc. And the thing is, work and gratitude are intimately related concepts.

Time and again, popular expressions celebrate a job not done or done half-assed, rewards gotten through little or no expenditure, risk or even sweat. This absence of labor, of investing time, energy, love and effort translates itself into the absence of gratefulness. Things cost us close to nothing, so why give thanks. As used as we are to complaining and trying to get our ways, the forgotten art of gratitude and acceptance is at best dismissed as trivial, and at worst, discarded in a flurry of ego-driven entitlement, followed by the ubiquitous “whatever.” But really, it is that kind of attitude that makes energy vampires of us all, caring more about what we can take than what we can give, or at least how we can begin to even the score a little bit. What is it? Is it a lash-out to the inequities of government and wealth distribution? Something like “I’ll get what’s coming to me no matter what, and screw the rest?” Or is it the reasserting of adolescent rebellion? You know: teenagers usually resenting their parents for the boundaries they place, thinking that, at 13 or 19, they’ve already gleaned enough answers about the way things are, so as to be able to set their own limits, which usually are no limits at all. If we as adults are constantly looking at youth for that sense of “cool,” it stands to reason that we will inherit the good with the bad. We get bombarded by the media-driven propaganda of “whatever” and soon enough, it starts coming out of our mouths, without consciousness or thought, just another cool word in vogue.

I’ve been there from time to time. I’ve excused myself from doing the work, milking justifications dry. I've been a recurring participant, as I too struggle with desires not met, with responsibilities that knock at my door, forcing me to rise above, grudgingly, and answer the summons, but I'm waking up to value of actually earning my R&R. I’ve been thinking that the act of realizing what I have/gained and actually being grateful for it puts things into focus. Old-timers’ sayings like “idle hands are the devil’s playground” may have lost their motivational magic, along with their meaning, but deep down, pops knew what he was talking about.

Because there is value in work, in gratitude, in love and friendship, beyond the trite, the used up and the meaningless. It’s not just a feel good new age thing. It is what builds community, what draws human to human. Appreciation is the operating concept. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you taking time out of your life to give a hand, to say a nice word, to pass along a smile. I appreciate the gifts I’ve been given. I treat others as I’d have them treat me. I focus on the positive instead of the negative, on what I have instead of what I don’t, the glass seen as half full.

We are really entitled to nothing. We are given: from the moment we’re born and we’re blessed with existence, we are given gifts and favors, in myriad forms and expressions. Not giving thanks, not appreciating, is just that: not appreciating. Not giving these their real value, not realizing their right worth. But when someone doesn’t cut you off in traffic, and instead lets you drive in front of them, that’s worth something. When your buddy helps you through a tough time, that’s worth something. When the world bestows warmth, shelter, nourishment upon you, that’s worth something. When the universe blesses you with a magnificent sunset, one that makes you aware of your minute place in space, of the awesome power of creation, of beauty, that’s worth something. Appreciation takes us out of the loneliness of our perceptions, of being trapped inside our bodies, and allows us to commune.

There is saying in Spanish: Lo cortés no quita lo valiente. This roughly translates to: courtesy does not take away from bravery. In other words, being courteous, showing your appreciation does not lessen you in any way. In my opinion, quite to the contrary, it heightens us, collectively, as a whole. It lets us all know that we're not superflous or invisible; we are seen, we are important, we belong, there is a place for us.

I appreciate you. I appreciate you taking the time to read through my words. I appreciate us being alive. I appreciate. Thanks.